Sunday, January 10, 2010


I would’ve never thought I would look forward to Comcast taking over a company. But as Jeff Zucker continues his Reign of Error at the not-so-proud peacock network, I’m rooting for the lousy cable company to do something better.

Even if that means with Comcast running things I might have to wait for Parks & Rec to show up on my TV sometime between 8 a.m. and noon, noon and 6 p.m. or 6 to 9 p.m.

And then there’s the NBC Talk Show Titanic.

Where’s Johnnnny (Carson, When You Need Him)?
I grew up on Johnny Carson. He managed to project himself as both a Hollywood Rat Pack-type insider and a good Midwestern boy; do schtick and political humor; AND interview everyone from starlets to opera stars better than any current host (except perhaps Colbert) does.

It was the perfect package.

NBC Disaster Movie
But this current lineup - this was all destined to go bad from Day One - Conan being too "weird" for 11:30 and too East Coasty for L.A., Leno completely stinking up the place at 10. (Fallon sucking like a stoned guy at a college station is a given.)

As the youths say, EPIC FAIL.

My Perfect Talk Show
These days it's much harder to do something really different and appeal to a really mass audience. It's all niche programming.

But if I were trying to put together a late-night show with a little of something great for everyone, here are the ingredients I’d want:
1. The Tonight Show with Conan theme song,
2. A little Letterman monologue (and perhaps an even smaller quantity of Kimmel),
3. The first five minutes of Jon Stewart's Daily Show,
4. The bondage-guy dancer from Craig Ferguson,
5. Conan’s taped pieces out and about and
6. A Stephen Colbert interview

This combined would make one very good show.

I'm Thinking Arby's
Also, Jimmy Fallon should be working someplace at his true talent level, perhaps as the drive-through window guy at Arby’s. And Jay should confine his public appearances these days to eating at Arby’s.

And here’s a novel idea - how about a woman/ person of color on one of the Big Shows? Or is 2010 too soon for such a radical idea?

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